Getting Along

 



























































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CRAIG HUNTINGTON began his career
in association management in 1980 when he founded Huntington Property Services, a full service property management company specializing in homeowner association management in Southern California. Craig has been President of the
Channel Island Chapter of
Community Association Institute (CAI) and has served on the Board of Directors for the Nevada, Central Arizona and Utah CAI Chapters.


Craig is also a well-respected and distinguished industry and motivational speaker and author. He has been presenting managerial, leadership and motivational presentations for the past 20 years and has developed a comprehensive collection of
presentations on a wide range of subjects.

Craig has spoken at CAI
conferences, management companies, executive retreats and strategic meetings in over 15 states.

Currently, Craig is President of Alliance Association Financial Services, a division of Bank of Nevada that provides services designed for homeowner associations and management
companies. Prior to joining Alliance
Association Financial Services,
Craig was President and founder of Community Association Banc.

Craig received his Bachelor of
Science degree in business from Oregon State University in 1972 and currently resides in Las Vegas, Nevada


 

           

The information contained in this article / on this site is for information purposes only, and may not apply to your situation. The author, publisher, distributor, and provider provide no warranty about the content or accuracy of content enclosed. Information provided is subjective. Keep this in mind when reviewing this article.           

Getting along is not as easy as it should be. There are whole industries, seminars, classes, experts, and many books about the subject. It creeps into our daily lives on a personal and professional level.  Every day we misunderstand someone or someone misunderstands us. Part of the reason for this is that we just don’t think about communication. It usually occurs without any preparation. Since we learned it at a very young age, instinctually, we just do it.

Statistics from Purdue University Department of Organizational Leadership and Supervision indicate that we only remember:

  • 10 percent of what we read
  • 20 percent of what we hear
  • 30 percent of what we see
  • 50 percent of what we see and hear
  • 80 percent of what we say
  • 90 percent of what we say and do

These numbers indicate how little we retain from our daily lives. The daily lives of many people move so fast that there is little time for reflection or forethought. Technology has catapulted us into a world where silence truly is golden and almost extinct. Our expectations of instantaneous responses via phone or email set us up for not thinking about what we are communicating and for not listening to what others are communicating to us.  Technology may help us get answers faster and communicate more often, but what happens to the quality of the communication?

A lack of quality in communication results in misunderstandings and damages relationships. Think about your best relationships and notice how well you communicate with the people in those relationships. Communities are all about relationships, as you all know.  In order for things to hum along with fewer bumps good communication is necessary. It needs to be honest, open, respectful and sincere. The content rarely matters as much as the manner in which it is delivered. The saying “it’s not what you say but how you say it” stands true in communication.

The message that we think we deliver may not have been received. The ways in which this happens have to do with how the deliverer is feeling at the moment. The tone, pitch, and volume of the voice of the deliverer affect what message is received.  Facial expressions and body movements are interpreted by the receiver and affect the interpretation of any and all messages. The time and place (context) of the communication affect whether or no the message you sent is the one that is received. The receiver’s current state of mind and body affect what will be received. Conversational styles and background affect daily communication. Taking all this into consideration requires thought and effort.

Once these things are considered, one realizes that adjusting how you say the same thing to different groups will only result in better success in communicating. Your relationship with them will also affect how you deliver the message. It is never the message we deliver, its how we deliver the messages, the sort of relationship we have to the receiver, and who we are that matters. We need to deliver the same message in different ways, according to our audience.

Working Together
As mentioned earlier, honesty, openness respectfulness and sincerity when dealing with each other will result in good communication and better business relationships. How we treat others will result in how they treat us. The saying "what goes around comes around" definitely applies. 

Linguistics determines others physical and emotional responses. It is very important how we frame a comment or question, as this often determines the response we will receive. Always try to use good words and stay away from bad words.

Good Words

ability
abundant
achieve
active
admirable
advance
advantage
ambition
appreciate
approval
aspire
attainment
authoritative
benefit
capable
challenge
cheer
comfort
commendable
comprehensive
concentration
confidence
conscientious
cooperation

courage
courtesy
definite
dependable
deserving
desirable
determined
distinction
diversity
ease
economy
effective
efficient
energy
enhance
enthusiasm
equality
excellence
exceptional
exclusive
expedite
faith
fidelity
fitting
 

genuine
good
grateful
guarantee
handsome
harmonious
helpful
honesty
honor
humor
imagination
improvement
industry
ingenuity
initiative
integrity
intelligence
judgment
justice
kind
lasting
life
loyalty





majority
merit
notable
opportunity
perfection
permanent
perseverance
please
popularity
practical
praiseworthy
prestige
proficient
progress
prominent
propriety
punctual
reasonable
recognition
recommend
reliable
reputable
responsive
responsible
salient
satisfactory
service
simplicity
sincerity
stability
substantial
success
superior
supreme
thorough
thoughtful
thrift
truth
truthful
useful
utility
valuable
vigor
vivid
wisdom
you
yours

Bad Words

abandoned
abuse
affected
alibi
allege
apology
bankrupt
beware
biased
blame
calamity
cheap
collapse
collusion
commonplace
complaint
crisis
crooked

deadlock
decline
desert
disaster
discredit
dispute
evict
exaggerate
extravagant
failure
fault
fear
flagrant
flat
flimsy
fraud
gratuitous
hardship

hazy
ignorant
illiterate
imitation
immature
implicate
impossible
improvident
insolvent
meager
misfortune
muddle
negligence
obstinate
oversight
plausible
precipitate
prejudiced

premature
pretentious
problem
retrench
rude
ruin
shirk
shrink
sketchy
slack
smattering
split
squander
stagnant
standstill
straggling
stunned
superficial

tamper
tardy
timid
tolerable
unfair
unfortunate
unsuccessful
untimely
verbiage
waste
weak
worry
wrong

Problem Solving Skills
What do managers and board members do every day?  Solve problems. This makes managers very busy people. Managers tend to juggle many tasks, at the same time, out of necessity. Community volunteers are the same way, in that those of you who volunteer for this task typically volunteer on more than one board or committee. The saying that 80% of the work is completed by 20% of the people applies in Community work. Nobody works in a bubble by themselves. This causes  everyone to need to become self aware. How we fit into the picture affects how we should communicate to each group. Everyone is different, with different needs; being aware of that will greatly improve our chances for success.

Consider the impact of your approach. Are you sending a message that will be received the way you want, to attain your desired result? It is not an unknown fact that the number one fear is public speaking.  This is likely due to our lack of successful experiences in communicating one on one. Focusing on the message and how you communicate with self awareness and self control will bring you the successes you desire.

Some other resources regarding Getting Along

Dealing With People You Can’t Stand
Dr. Rick Brinkman and Dr. Rick Kirschner

That’s Not What I Meant
Deborah Tannen, PH. D.

How To Disagree Without Being Disagreeable
Suzette Haden Elgin, PH. D.





 
 

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